Given medical science has not yet served up any real cure for the dreaded cancer thingamy I got to thinking about a home-made potion that might spook the nastiness from my body.
Surely cancer stays because it enjoys its host's environment.
So what if I brewed up something that made my insides stink so badly that the cancer thought seriously about moving onwards.
I'm thinking:
1 x teaspoon of pus from an ingrown toenail wound
2 x squirts of cat piss
1 x cup of cold curry vomit
1 x tablespoon of green-coloured bronchial phlegm
2 x dessert spoons of roadkill Possum bowel sludge
5mls of wrung-out, sports sock sweat
1 x pinch of arse-boil fluid
Blend for 46 seconds then serve in the finest Dalton teacup.
Reckon that'd suffice.
Pee
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